Changes and Revalations

So I'm back again, this month has been very hard on me. I had to wake up to some things I really didn't want to. I realize I have made many mistakes in the past, I let things slide, let people who I treasure down and grown very distant. In other words I failed. HARD. I hope I can fix and change the problems to maybe try and get back the things I may be losing if not completely lost already. I really hope I have a chance, it keeps me motivated, and hoping. I'm told so long as you have hope then there's always a chance.

  One of many I've had to courier to and from labs/visits

                                             
Equally I've become very very sick, despite going to the doctor every few days and doing a lot of tests and lab work, I'm still left with more questions than answers and wondering what I am going to do in the next few months and past it. Subsequently to keep my liver all nice and working I've gone through a weird 'cleanse' diet. I am currently barred from meats, milk products, fats, soy leaving me very little in the way of what is acceptable to eat. Not going to lie, it sucks, once this diet is over I'm totally getting something chicken in a cream sauce...and dessert. I can't even have tea which is one of the worst things, since it brings me comfort. And right now, when it seems like I'm discovering another complication every other day which adds more frustration (and subsequently more medicines) to me I really wish I could have a nice cup of tea and a hug.


In the mean time I'm doing what I can in my 'bubble' to keep busy. Mostly class work, however I'm looking forward to potentially completing 6-7 classes this year. Something that will take a good chunk out of whats left of my degree.  Equally it looks like a have a new part time job as a photo editor, while it's contract work I will still keep looking for more work to not only help pay for classes but to help me to my bigger more long term goals.


On the art spectrum, I've started on my first art book. I'm planning for it to be between 28 to 36 pages. Entitled, 'You Monster!". Equally I'm trying to restart my side commission business. Plus doing various tutorials to try and get better.


I don't want to sound preachy cause it's not my style, still I lost sight of what really mattered in my life and relationships, while the realization was heartbreaking and painful I know that I need to do a bit of growing up. Which is only right and fair, I have my goals now and I will drag myself across glass to have them. I pray that I can have them all again and even more